Mind-Manual

How To Identify Your Beliefs

Beliefs come in a few varieties. There’s religious beliefs, obviously, but then there are beliefs that you hold about how the world works. For example, I believe that cause-effect is how things in the world interact. The reason why this is a belief and not a rational “truth” has been expounded in David Hume’s An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding. If something as fundamental as that can be brought into question and thought of as customary belief, how many other things may be thought that way?

Some beliefs obviously limit you from achieving your goals, and are appropriately called limiting beliefs. Usually they are pretty obvious when presented in examples such as, “Money is dirty and unspiritual”, which would obviously interfere with a goal of making money. Other beliefs, however, are less obvious.

The way I discover some of my limiting beliefs is like this: I ask myself, “Why have I not achieved this result yet?” The answer is usually in terms of doing, being or having. Sometimes the answer is reasonable. For example, “Why am I not healthier?” has the obvious answer that I do not excersize. On the other hand, there have been studies where one group of people were told that their normal, everyday movements were enough excersize and they subsequently showed muscle growth. So, it’s tricky to figure out what is simply a limiting belief and what is a physical state in reality. As a personal anecdotal example: since I was a kid I’ve believed I have really good reflexes (cause I thought it was cool, all my favourite characters had great reflexes) so I do. I’ve often caught things that were dropping that I only saw out of the corner of my eye and impressed people that way, too. I don’t recall doing a reflex test recently, though, I should try it out. Anyhoo, my belief seems to have translated into an actual quick reflex time even though I do not have any training like that.

On the other hand, if you believe in IM, then its all limiting beliefs and you can just change your beliefs, even those that seem reasonable and do whatever you want. However, there are some beliefs may be limiting you from achieving some goals, but they are not really beliefs, but values. That is, your conscience says that they’re not good things.

Some examples:

Question: “Why do I not have an A+ in all my courses?”

Answer: Because I do not spend enough time or energy studying. I believe that there is a certain amount of time or studying I need to do to achieve this goal. On the other hand, I could find a way around this belief by becoming a more efficient student.

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More on Restrictive Structures

As I suggested at the end of my post about structures called, “Formulas“, the concept of resistance to oppressive structures as an unconscious force in my life does have more far reaching implications than just to writing. I was able to write more clearly using a three-part structure for my blogs after I figured that out without any resistance, so there has been an effect of this inner change. In this post, I’d like to talk more about other areas I’ve seen a pattern of resisting structures. I don’t generally get a breakthrough that is so applicable across a variety of areas in my life, so this is a treat. I’d like to get more breakthroughs like this, though.

I can think of this pattern working unconsciously earlier in my life, too. For example, I had a lot of trouble with what I call the SML, or Standard Model of Life, which is basically, you go to school to go get a job, then you get a job so you can have kids, get married and retire, you retire so you can die. That’s not to say I’m ok with this way of living, now, because there just seems to be so little meaning there, but I have lost a sort of irrational resistance to it, and can now consciously choose with my rational mind (or what I have of it) either to follow this path or not to. It is a suggested path, not a constriction to one way and it is just one path out of many.

As I wrote recently, the idea of a life purpose also seemed restrictive to me. This is miles away from writing now, isn’t it?

I also feel this way about PhotoReading. One of the keys to PRing is to choose a specific purpose that you want to fulfill and is why you are reading this book. Similar to how I feel about life purposes, I felt one purpose for reading too constricting and would rather prefer to read the whole thing.

To-do lists or NextAction lists are a tricky thing. David Allen once said that everything on your list is either pulling you or pushing you; there is no neutral territory. A lot of times, I’ll put something on the list that I think is a good idea at one time, and then it’ll feel like its set in stone. I’ll do everything that I want to do (or want to do more than I don’t want to do the other items) but then I’ll simply have just the things I don’t want to do left, and thus to-do lists become oppressive rather than just a guide to structure your day.

Over-structured lives in general seem restrictive. I like having lots of flexibility in time, so I don’t really like a full schedule. I guess that gives me the illusion of freedom.

Another, potentially very important shift from this new belief has to do with why I never pursued any sort of technical studies in school. I did not want to be “just another” coder or “just another” engineer. Engineering is a bit of a tradition in my family, and among my ethnic background, so I supposed I wanted to feel unique, even though I am very well suited for these sort of technical things and really enjoy it, too.

About figuring out why I may dislike restriction of structures so much. I have two ideas, and th first is that I simply value freedom highly. However, having a preference does not translate into resistance. Usually resistance is caused by something under the surface that you are not aware of, because once you become aware of it, you can accept the choice and whichever option you choose, even if it is negative. I prefer organic solutions rather than forced ones for some reason, too, and I mean an irrational sort of resistance.

Another possible reason may be that I feel on some level that if I follow a structure too much I will become that structure. I have felt this sort of identity crisis a few months ago when I started wondering if I was just a “conduit” for PD or Steve Pavlina, rather than my own person. This particular fear may come from the feeling that I will be dismissed by people as “just another PD geek” or so forth. I have a particular dislike for this sort of dismissal, as I mentioned above to do with doing something with technology. I suppose I would feel this sort of dismissal as a rejection of my personness as uninteresting, unidimensional and probably useless. This is a useful and important thing to work, I think, because I am still having trouble getting myself to optimize this site and do things which will bring in more income. That might be because I genuinely don’t feel like I am delivering enough value to feel good about monetizing it, or it may be there is another limiting belief in there somewhere. I’d like to know what it is soon, though.

Even though it has only been a few days since I had that epiphany about joy possibly being my life purpose, I have been in this deep state of calm. It’s been a stressful few days, so while I did have other emotions such as anger, it was easier to put them aside and just focus on what needed to get done. As if the surface of a deep ocean is tumultuous but the depths are calm. So, I definitely feel there is some value to this line of inquiry. I hope you are enjoying reading so much about me, too. :-p

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Formulas

I’ve always disliked formulas. Not just formulaic “art” but formulas for creating things. The setup-punchline structure for jokes. The three-part model for essays. The three-act structure of scripts and stories. The reason is because these things always felt restrictive. They also felt inorganic and inauthentic. They especially feel forced at times. I have a desire to be original and unique because it is great fun (and a great competitive strategy). I’ve felt that it might be a good idea to resolve the resistance I have towards using these sort of structures, and I’ve been able to do that in three ways: The first is to figure out why these structures are created and what purpose they serve. The second is to change the way these things are represented in my mind. The third way is to realize that they seem forced only because I have not used them enough while thinking about them the right way.

Recently, I was reading Freud’s Civilization and Its Discontents, and it was just a rambling bunch of paragraphs. There was no single focus for a chapter and Freud would talk about a number of unrelated things. There seemed like an overall lack of preparation there (something I’ve recently come to recognize the importance of). I came to understand that the three-part structure of essays helps give it clarity and balance. In a similar vein, the three-act structure creates a certain response in human beings which is quite enjoyable. That doesn’t mean its good or bad, it just is.

This is the image I have of these sort of structures: Imagine a human-shaped mold. It can only be filled with a certain amount of material and thus restricts growth. This is how I used to imagine these sort of structures. As molds to pour your work into, and that just felt inorganic and forced. Now, I’ve come to imagine them more as a skeleton that you can drape your work on. In this way, you can gain the benefits of these skeletons (such as clarity and structure) and still create great work.

The final way to learned to be ok with structures is to realize that while they may seem forced now and then but that’s only because I am not very good at them. At the beginning of learning any skill, it may seem forced and awkward, but as you become more skilled, it becomes easier. I wrote about this previously: 4 Stages of How You Learn!

All of that said, that does not mean I cannot play with the structure of these things. In fact, playing with structurs is a great source of joy for me. But I have gotten over my subconscious resistance to these sort of structures. I have a feeling that this has bigger implications than just for writing. I can feel that this has to do with my life purpose (finding which felt restrictive and mold-like to me) but now I realize purpose is simply a back-bone thread that is already in my life. I can feel that this may have to be why I do not want to do anything unoriginal. Similarly, to-do lists are not supposed to be restrictive like that and you have to do everything on them because it’s written down, but they serve as guides and skeletons for your time. There is more introspection to be done here.

I hope that if anyone out there is suffering from a similar subconscious resistance to structures, they can make the mental flip from mold to skeleton and lose that resistance. Without subconscious resistance, you can make conscious decisions better.

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Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs, Beliefs

After a while, you realize that the big thing to work on in personal development are beliefs. Not religious beliefs, mind you, but other kinds of beliefs. An example of other kinds of beliefs might be the common belief that you have a right to private property, and the right to hold onto it with safety. This belief has become so naturalized in our society that it seems totally obvious and “natural”. It is also so familiar that we don’t think about it consciously. What we also don’t recognize is how amazing this is. This natural right that is embedded in the constitution of the United States really only came about around 300-400 years ago, when it was argued for very eloquently by John Locke, who also argued for limited government. For example, we don’t really think that the government or other people have the right to simply barge into our homes and watch us, but back in the good old days, the government or monarchs had that–and other arbitrary–powers.

Because we can never see the world objectively, but through many different lenses (or mental models), beliefs play a key role as lenses. For example, ever notice how when you’re hungry, all sources and forms of food become highlighted? It all depends on how you (or your hypothalamus) set your filters.

Many beliefs, however, can simply become self-fulfilling prophesies. Say you hold a belief that people are untrustworthy. Your mind will filter out all cases of supposed trustworthy behaviour (it will probably be rationalized away as only being the appearance of trustworthiness), and focus on the evidence of untrustworthiness. Not only that, you will also act in ways which suggest to other people that you don’t trust them, and they’re less likely to trust you. When all is said and done, you’ll continue to be reinforced by the belief that people are untrustworthy.

So, if there’s no way to rationalize your way out of these kinds of beliefs, what’s an intelligent person to do? Pavlina suggests (and I agree) to try out different beliefs, because your belief will usually appear to be right one when you’re within it. After you’ve tried out a number of them, whichever one seems to be the best on whatever scale you choose (such as accuracy, makes you happier, make you more money, etc) you adopt as your belief.

Its a very interesting process of exploration. For example, I recently discovered that I believe effort is value. That the value of something I do comes from the effort I put into it. This helps to explain a few curious behaviours I used to engage in:

• Ignore the opportunity to make easy money.
• Feel bad about making money when it didn’t require effort or personal sacrifice from me (ie by fixing computers which I enjoy and I’m good at, and its just easy for me).
• If I worked really hard on an assignment and got a C, I would say, “but I worked really hard.” Rather than simply accept that effort and the final value of the essay do not have to correlate. And after a while, thinking that my effort wasn’t good enough, I’d stop trying and fall into a pattern of procrastination and not trying very hard.

Objective truth is a hard thing to find these days.

More Reading:

Installing Empowering Beliefs

8 Guidelines for Choosing Effective Beliefs 

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