Mind-Manual

What is Evil?

One of my favourite thinkers is Dr. Jordan Peterson. In the following talk, he does an amazing interpretation of the stories in Genesis and how it pertains to what evil is. He makes a clear distinction between tragedy as a requirement of being (refer to first Noble Truth in Buddhism) and evil. An amazing talk, I highly recommend it. So far, I’ve introduced his work to a number of people and they really seem to be engaged in it. It really does change how you perceive the world.

Some interesting bits:

- You cannot understand your capacity for good without understanding your capacity for evil.

- There can be no Being without limitation.

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“I’m Broke and Homeless. Now what?”

I just did a wonderful excersize to fear-set my fears about ending up broke and homeless. It might help you. Fear setting is an idea from Tim Ferriss in the 4-Hour Work Week. You figure out what the worst case scenerio would be and how you would work through that. In Stumbling on Happiness, author Dan Gilbert talks about how people can’t see past a traumatic event and simply imagine losing the leg or the bankruptcy instead of recognizing that life goes on after that. If I handle this fear, that’ll allow me to take bigger risks and get to reap the rewards, financial and otherwise. Alternatively, sometimes we get caught up seeking money for security’s sake and this attachment ironically stops it from coming into our lives.

Here’s a tip for doing your own fear-setting: do research. If you’re afraid of bankruptcy, google up information how to file for bankruptcy exactly. Then mentally walk through the process in great detail. You will find many stories of people who’ve got bankruptcies in their past who go on to become quite wealthy (Donald Trump, Steve Pavlina, Brian Tracy and Dan Kennedy come to mind). You may just have to go online and search for “[your town] homeless shelter” or you may have to go visit/volunteer at the actual shelter so that you can build a very clear picture of how it’d go. Whatever helps you get over the issue. For example, I’ve already studied the process for filing for bankruptcy (not as hard as you’d think) and the various ways to get back on your feet. I’ve been to Covenant House, a youth shelter in Canada, and seen first hand how they work. All this helped me get over my vague fears.

So, in an attempt to get a handle on my fears of becoming broke and homeless, I walked through a detailed scenerio in my journal. I’ve included the content of that journal entry here with some minor edits, mostly to correct spelling or extreme incoherance. It is sorta rambling, but I’ve intentionally left that in there so you can get an idea of just how little “editing” or judging goes on in a good journal entry:

I guess I’m still afraid of what’d happen if I lost all of it and had 0 dollars and on the street. Like, let’s say I’ve just gone bankrupt, all my money is gone, I have no income sources, just the clothes on my back and the duffel bag with some basics. I have 0 dollars and I just stepped out onto the street. What’d I do? Beg/borrow a quarter from someone and go to a phone. If I don’t have a phone number, I can go to the library, use the internet to find out the phone number or facebook them or email them and get some help. Then I’d prolly wander around Toronto. I’d prolly try to make my way down to a foodbank or something. Somehow get some change or tokens or tickets to take the ttc out to a friend’s place, or even Covenant House or some other youth shelter, which I researched using the internet at the library for free. Show up there, and use their resources to find a job. Gmail is free, doesn’t require a house to have, so my resume is still available. I’d like to have kept my laptop but I could backup everything important onto a usb stick. Then, while staying at the shelter, I’d prolly work a bit or borrow some money to buy a second hand suit at that used clothing store or good will or something, use the suit and the internet resources at like covenant house to get a job. I could also use the internet resources and borrowed money to setup a site with adsense or whatever, that’d take some time. I could beg for or borrow some paper and write out my site by hand or whatever.

Anyhoo, get a job, use goodwill to buy clothes cause they’re cheap. Even if I don’t get a place to stay, I should be able to borrow 100 dollars. I mean, covenant house surely has some mechanism in place to pick up clothes, too, so I don’t necessarily have to pay for them. Honestly, with all this, I should be able to find housing for a week at least. Keep my spirits up, even show up to the YMCA or convenant house with a smile and just say, yea, this’ll help me get me back on my feet quickly. I mean, I haven’t fallen off my feet yet. So, I’ll try my darndest to get a job, even if its just a minimum wage one, part time. I’d do fine in retail cause I’m smart and capable, and i’m willing to work hard, especially in that situation. That’d get me enough money a month to get my own place. I should be able to pick up a retail job in less than two weeks, if I’m being generous while staying at covenant house. Then, get my first paycheque, prolly save that for a while, then wait for the second one to put together the first and last month’s rent/deposit on an apartment. Move out of covenant house using the job’s income, then build up my credit again with a credit card that’s attached to a bank account, or whatever that thing is. Use it to buy some hosting and get to work on building a website and creating value again and making money again. Even if that doesn’t work, I can work that job pretty much indefinitely, but of course, I’ll keep looking for other jobs and prolly get them, cause I’m good enough to be paid at least 15 dollars an hour in the market in some, prolly office, capacity. Even if I don’t have any friends left, I should still be able to get to covenant house and they can help me with it all, or just go to the library and use the computers there to get all the information I need. As long as I’ve got myself intact, I’ll be fine there.

I guess I’m still a bit afraid of having no money, but it’s a lot less. If I had 0 dolalrs, no friends, no home, I’d be back on my feet in about a month. Then I can work on building my fortune again. Borrow books form the library, etc. I’ll be fine. I really, really would.

I do not have the courage to do this, but at some point I want to try being homeless for a while. Like, limit myself to 10 dollars a week or something. I can take it in steps, like limiting myself to 10 dollars a week at home and then going out and finding out what options are available for homeless folk. I can totally do that, even now, and just pretend like I’m a concerned third party looking up info for someone I know or somin.  There’s a number for the city['s homeless resources on the website].

The next part was originally written before the above part, but it makes more sense after it so I’ve moved it:

This is a fear that comes up again and again: losing everything and not being able to take care of myself, ending up homeless I suppose, hated and pitied by everyone around me, I suppose. I can prevent that from happening by building strong relationships and bonds around me. A network that can support me and I can support them, too, if only in other ways.

I guess I do equate money with security. I guess that really comes up when I don’t have any or enough money and I feel insecure. I guess security can only come from being able to trust myself. Trust myself to do my best and to be able to handle it. I can rely on friends with apartments, I can rely on homeless shelters and even the kindness of strangers. YMCA or Covenant House (till I’m 24 anyhoo). Say I move out on my own and then I go bankrupt or insolvent and I can’t pay rent and I’m kicked out. I mean, I should be able to negotiate something. For example, I know that I can find at least a decent job, even a minimum wage job fulltime would be fine and I can handle it.

I can create value for people in other ways. If I created value for others, that’d be good. I guess I’ve a fear of being destitute and I think many people share it. However, many, many people get through bouts of homelessness just fine. They lose their homes, their businesses, everything, end up on the street with nothing but the clothes on their back. At least I have technical skills and stuff that I can use to get ahead, find job to get myself back off the street. Going to the street would not be the end of the world. I’d rather not, but I’d survive it and it’d be barely a hiccup in the long run. Pretty simple steps can be taken to prevent that. IE, be careful about how I spend money, save 6 months of expenses in advance. Actually, that’s a good idea, that solves the issue of what to do with the extra money. Build a STEF of 6 months to cover all expenses, so that’s…12,000. Wow, that almost seems excessive, but as long as I feel more secure, it’s good. It may take me a year to build up that depending on my level of income. 6 months of full out expenses, and I can cut some down to prolong that, and can then redirect the income going out to charity to come back and support me while I figure out things out. Like, if I lose my job or somin crazy like that, or business has shut down or whatever, I’ll have 6 months to get things back together. And if I’ve been able to get to that level of income in the first place, I should be able to use those skills to build income sources in the next six months…again. I could get a job, any job to cover me. So, I really don’t have to live month-to-month, paycheque-to-paycheque on the income I get. I don’t have to get reliant on something that may be yanked out from under me, I can build a 6 month safety net and then that’s ok. I can also save money for retirement, but I’m not too bothered about that. Yes, I can give away money more than required to keep me covered, and it’s ok.

I’m almost certainly being optimistic about how long it would take me to get back on track. That said, I think I could handle it as long as I’m fundamentally ok and have locked in the gains from personal development over the last two years.

I feel that this is no longer a fear and more like a situation I now have a plan to handle. It’s kinda funny–now I’m afraid of what’ll happen now that I’m not afraid. I feel willing to take big risks like buy investment properties, etc. I probably will not but I feel like I could and that courage is a good thing. There’s a surprising number of safety nets built into the Western system. It needs to allow for bankruptcy, redemption and rebirth so the system works. And there’s a vast array of people willing to help those in need with food, clothing and shelter. Makes me grateful for being here and certainly appreciative of all the good work everyone is doing out there. Thank you all!

PS This entry took me some courage to reveal something I considered private. Courage is a good thing.

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