Mind-Manual

When you’re the hungriest, is when you don’t know what to eat

Anyone ever notice that? When you’re really hungry and you’re in a shop, that’s when you are the most indecisive about what to eat. Which I find kind of ironic because every second you spend being indecisive, is a second being hungry.

I think this happens because you want to choose the thing that will give you the best “bang for your buck”, and when presented with a dizzying array of very similar choices causes a lot of cognitive dissonance. If you had to choose between a dead skunk and a sandwich, I think most of us would choose the sandwich, but what if there’s seven kinds of sandwiches, two kinds of salads and four kinds of candy bars? All the choices are good and, assuming they’re all the same size, would fill you up about the same. So the tie breaker becomes taste.

I think that taste is the real problem because it will all taste so good because you’re hungry. But therein also lies the solution, it will all taste good because you’re hungry. And you cannot have buyer’s remorse if you haven’t tasted the others, unless your choice tastes bad. So, just pick up something and know that it won’t matter in another fifteen minutes because you’ll have probably eaten it and forgotten about it.

My recommendation? Two, actually:

• Decide what you want ahead of time, perhaps as you’re walking into the shop or kitchen. You might also decide on a second choice, but be firm about it. Making the decision ahead of time helps prevent some of the second-guessing when all your choices are in front of you. If your desired choice isn’t available, you’re back to square one, and suggestion number two might help:
• Set yourself a time limit, say, 10 seconds to make a decision and get out. If you have the discipline, you might decide that if you don’t make a decision in 10 seconds, you’ll either walk out empty-handed (and empty-stomached) or buy something you really don’t like. This isn’t to scare you into making a decision because you actually have to be able to walk out or buy that undesirable food. If you can’t do that because you just don’t have that kind of discipline, don’t do this.

You might be able to recognize that this heuristic applies to many things–not just food. Deciding what you want ahead of time and giving yourself a time limit to make a decision can be very helpful for many things, including when looking for a car, house, partner, dog, fan, career, god knows what else. For more complicated things, you might decide to list down some things or characteristics you are looking for. It makes it more likely that you’ll be able to recognize what you want when you are faced with it.

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Stop! Don’t Read This Now!

One of the key problems I’ve noticed in people who’re into personal development is trying to run before they can walk. That is to say: they try to tackle issues or deal with things which they aren’t nearly ready for. Here’s an example:

A little while ago, Steve Pavlina wrote a short series of articles on Polarization into Lightworking or Darkworking, and soon after, the forums were abuzz with questions about which way to polarize by people who had not even clarified what their life values are. Or perhaps they simply did not choose critical thinking or thinking for themselves as a value, instead preferring to let other people tell them how to make their decisions. As could be expected, the amount of times those terms are used has dropped drastically as more time has passed since the article was first published.

I believe that there is a sort of natural progression in personal development. Essentially, you walk before you can run.

Unfortunately, by its very nature, the internet is not setup as a series of steps so that you can tell what’s walking and what’s running. If you go back and look at Steve Pavlina’s archives, you’ll find articles for every level of personal developer in every area. From the beginner to the advanced; from spirituality to better time management, but not necessarily organized as such. I certainly believe his article on courage and series on self-discipline is especially foundational for the other areas of personal development. So, if you’ve you been reading his site for a while, I would strongly recommend going back to read those articles and ask yourself how you’re doing on courage and self-discipline. If you’re new to the site, you might get some tips on improving those by reading those articles.

This means two things for the PDer:

1. Have a focus and find ways to encourage that focus. Focus on developing goals and remind yourself of them a lot. It’s easy to go off track from your goals. I have a short list of current short-term(monthly) goals that I read right after I get up to keep them in the forefront of my mind.

2. It might be best to ignore stuff from other levels or areas of personal development, as you choose to focus on reading stuff that’s about your chosen area for a short time period (say 30-90 days). Chosen spirituality as a focus for the next ninety days? Start meditating and reading about meditation, instead of jumping into the stuff about chakras and how to open the seventh one now. Ignore the articles on time management and productivity; you can catch up on them later. You can pick time management and personal effectiveness next month. I highly recommend switching these things up so one area doesn’t get boring.

Patience is still a virtue, even if you’re talking about being part of god.

Main Points:

• Patience is a virtue.
• Manage your own journey in personal development with goals and triage. Remind yourself of your goals often however you need to.
• Walk before you can run.
• Enjoy life!

 Thanks to Mark of The Winding Path for his help making this entry better.

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