May 242008

I get some weird emails sometimes. This is an email that was sent out to the mailing list of my philosophy class. It’s kinda cute:

Subject: Awkward… but then again so am I!

Hi everyone!

Hope you all did well on yesterday’s exam. I am writing you all because I am looking for someone and I couldn’t find the individual email, hence this blast. I don’t want to say her name as not to embarrass her, but it can only one person. So here it goes… We sat together at the very start of the year, but then you decided to move up to the balcony. I distracted you from reviewing your notes right before the exam yesterday and I tried finding you afterwards, but I obviously didn’t. If this sounds like you, drop me a line. I would like to properly say goodbye, etc…

Sorry to bother the other 499 of you and I hope you all have a great summer!


XXXX (or as most of you probably know me as “the crazy guy”)

This next batch is spam emails. They’re obviously very clever as they got through Gmail’s spam detector, unfortunately they did it by being nonsensical. Bolded lines are subject lines:

stockpile coast appropriable spyglass

judicial bypath
situate frieze indecent yipping mao cunning quackery
incalculable raven appropriable coast frieze litigate stupendous townsmen enthusiasm bypath

stupendous whale bicker indecent cotta
quackery christmas

Random nouns and verbs don’t sell product. Spam’s gotten to the point where instead of trying to achieve some end of their own, they’re just trying to annoy people.

The next email is clever, too. They use double letters to evade spam filters and do add nonsense at the end of the emails to lower the overall spammy-wordsto-total-words ratio.


Are you a frequuent visitor of rettail softwaree stores?
We know what you’re ovverpaying for:
– box manufacturinng
– CD
– salespersonn salary
– RRent of shop spacee
– Yeear-to-year incrreasing taxes in your countryy
Well, what for ?! You’re able to downloaad everythingg legally NOW! Fabullous range of softwaree and LOW prices will make you smile and save your money! Welcome to ADDRESS REMOVED

Of all with the sheet of water, wherein the house, asked
scott. Not at all, for the guicowar is as be able to do
anything. Remembering thyself to resumed: you savvy, ol’
father try white medicinefour and put to bed. Did you see
my friends at holy the mainland. You will find many people
up there of finer, subtler stuff than himself, more alive
us no more. The clue that placed her in mental faun who
had surprised her thus. But albine repeated, above all the
abodes of the deities. O ascetic, church of christ in scotland.
as also (which from universal destruction takes place, and
it is he coming, until the lateness of the hour precluded
the character, the compatibilities, and what not, the money
into the little girl’s hand. Catriona,.

Reading the nonsense, though, is amusing, too.

And perhaps my favourite:

Get a fleshy pole

Pop these pills everyday like vitamins and see extraordinary results in weeks ADDRESS REMOVED

Final email is from the mailing list for the book Quirkology which is a very interesting and entertaining book about psychology and sociology experiments done on the quirky things that people do. It answers some interesting questions like, “Why do we laugh?” or “What is the funniest joke in the world, scientifically?” or “Where are people the most helpful, big cities or small towns? Which ones?” An entertaining and eye-opening video on Youtube with the author, who used to be a magician, here.


Many thanks for taking part in our recent experiment exploring the link
between sport and attraction. As you might remember, we asked people to
rate which sports would make a member of the opposite sex sound more

The results showed that 57% of women found climbing attractive, making it
the most attractive sport from a female perspective. This was closely
followed by extreme sports (56%), football (52%), and hiking (51%). Bottom
of their list came aerobics and golf, with just 9% and 13% of the vote

In contrast, men were most attracted to women into aerobics (70%), followed
by yoga (65%), and going to the gym (64%). Bottom of their list came
bodybuilding (5%), rugby (6%), and golf (18%).

The findings also reveal that both men and women have little insight into
what sports the opposite sex find attractive. 56% of men believe that women
are attracted to male bodybuilders, whereas only 19% actually are. Likewise,
73% of women think that men find female runners attractive, whereas in
reality 55% do.

The results reflect important differences between the sexes, and we hope
that you find them interesting.

We have two new online experiments, looking at the influence of people¹s
first name on their lives and contagious laughter, at and hope that you will want to participate.

Proving yet again that God has a sense of humour that makes men and women totally incompatible and yet crucial for each other’s survival. Jeez, could we be more wrong about the opposite gender on a regular basis?

  2 Responses to “Email Extracts”

  1. That last one is interesting.

    I’ll comment more right after I climb this mountain.


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