Apr 022007
 

Actually, today is a great day. Not because I achieved something great. But, because I learned a number of very valuable things about me, which is one of the steps towards achieving something great.

1. That I am the kid from this article:

http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/

You can have two attitudes about ability, including intelligence, creativity, physical, etc. You can either believe that it is fixed since the time you are born, or that ability grows with practice and effort and wanting to improve. The thing is, research shows that the latter is true. That even intelligence (including test scores, etc) can improve with effort and practice. Now, its important to remember that beliefs can often be self-fulfilling prophesies, so if you believe one thing, you’ll get the effects of that belief.

Here’s a nice pdf showing the different effects of the beliefs:

http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2007/marapr/images/features/dweck/dweck_mindset.pdf

Some of you may remember that I talked about this earlier when I came across some research done at Harvard a few months ago. While I intellectually agreed with the idea that ability growable (and I still do), I still haven’t totally integrated that belief into myself. So that’s something I am going to focus on. Remember, there are many ways to change beliefs. Here’s some:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/personal-effectiveness/5126-process-installing-changing-beliefs.html

2. I automatically tone down the intensity of my emotions, even the positive ones.

You see, people have inbuilt automatic reactions to emotions. The two most common methods are suppression and expression. So, someone who’s sad may start crying, as an expression of their sorrow. Alternatively, someone who is angry may not express it. Those reactions are often based off certain beliefs, like, "Men don’t cry" or "Its impolite to get angry". These beliefs and reactions are learned at an early age from those around us. However, there are other options. One of them is releasing, which is the process of simply letting go of the emotion. You can find out more about it if you grab a copy of The Sedona Method. Another way is to simply all your emotions to BE. This comes from The Power of Now.

I’ve lately been interested in emotional mastery, so I’ve been trying to learn more about them. The first belief to adopt is that I can consciously control my emotions (and so can you). Second belief is that my emotions are MY reaction to that which is happening around me. I can change my reaction to things. I can put those things in perspective (how much will my mistreatment by the store clerk matter in a few years, or even, tomorrow). And there are other ways, too.

My working theory right now is that my emotions all contain messages and meanings. That is, my emotions tell me something. I ask myself why I am feeling this particular emotion, and when I’ve found the real answer (even if it is a statement of obvious fact), the emotion simply dissolved. Its important to find the real cause, though, because false causes can seem so much easier. For example, So, anger can mean I’m frustrated, or that I’ve been hurt.

Anyhoo, the point is, I realized that one of my automatic reactions is against intense feelings (good or bad). Now, against bad feelings, its fine. I’m learning to deal with my negative emotions in different ways. But I’ve discovered that my intensely good feelings are also getting squelched by a preexisting automatic reaction.

Particularly, the feeling of desire. Now, wanting something really badly and not having it creates a lot of cognitive dissonance. Hell, it can almost hurt when you want something really, really badly and not have it. Why is this important? Because a large part of motivation towards goals is emotional in nature. It helps to be able to have that kind of emotional power. Also, a large part of Intention-Manifestation has to do with the emotions of wanting something, or wanting to have it or be it or whatever.

Anyhoo, so that’s my realization. Now I find more information about it and decide about a course of action. I do feel that I want stronger positive emotions, if for no reason other than to experience them, so I will be at least going in that direction.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

 Leave a Reply

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

(required)

(required)