Aug 312006
 

Be warned: The following just may offend you a great deal. My intention was to film this as a sort of "real life" video, so it all has to make sense in a way so that people don’t think it’s contrived. Enjoy!

Jehovah’s Witness By RT Wolf

Cast:
Guy – A very strong-willed person. I’ll try to get someone who looks great with a shirt off.
Camera – Friend of Guy who came over to show off his camera but Guy’s more interested in TV
Jehovah’s Witness – Young and well-meaning man who attempts to convert you.

          INT.TV ROOM.DAY

          Guy and Camera are watching TV (probably some
          trials footage). Camera is playing around with his
          camera barely interested in what’s going on.

                              GUY
                    Oh, oh! Watch this move!

          The doorbell rings. Guy leans to see out the
          window beside the TV and then returns to watching
          TV.

                              CAMERA
                    Who is it?

                              GUY
                    It’s a Jehovah’s Witness. He comes every
                    once in a while.

          The doorbell rings again.

                              GUY
                    Fuck, fine.

          Guy stands up, stops, smiles at Camera.

                              CAMERA
                    What?

          Guy starts taking off his clothes.

                              CAMERA
                    Oh, whoa! What the hell…?

          Camera turns away and starts giggling as he
          understands.

                              GUY
                    Oh for god’s sake, turn around. Bring
                    the camera, you’ve gotta catch this.

          Camera turns around to reveal that Guy is down to
          his undies. Guy goes to the door and Camera
          follows. Guy motions Camera to stop and gets to the
          door, and motions Camera along.

          INT.ENCLOSED PORCH.DAY

          Camera is looking at the back of the Jehovah’s
          Witness through the window screen. Guy opens the
          door and Jehovah’s Witness turns to greet him.
 
                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                         (Unclear & Subtitled)
                    Good Afternoon–Uh, sir, would you mind
                    putting some clothes on, sir?

                              GUY
                    Why? God gave me this body. You should
                    admire it. Now, what do you want?

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                         (half-heartedly and not making eye
                         contact, subtitle)
                    Well, uh, have you been saved, sir?

                              GUY
                    Look me in the eyes when you talk to me.
                    I haven’t been saved and I’ve got a few
                    questions. What’s the source of all good
                    in the world?

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                    Well, it’s our Lord and Savior Jesus
                    Christ, and if you accept him–

                              GUY
                    Yeah, why do bad things happen to good
                    people?

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                    Well, people are the source of suffering
                    and if you–

                              GUY
                    Ahaan, so if something good happens to
                    us, it’s ’cause of Jesus, if something
                    bad happens it’s our fault? That sounds
                    like a bad co-worker who takes credit
                    for all your fucking work.

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                         (stuttering)
                    Well, no, uh, see–
 
                              GUY
                         (starts rubbing his crotch — I
                         actually saw a guy doing this in a
                         bar, had his hand down his shorts
                         and his little children were next
                         to him)
                    So, you love Jesus, right?

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                         (looking away from him)
                    Yes, I do. He will save my soul from–

                              GUY
                         (his hand’s down his undies at this
                         point)
                    If you love him so much, why don’t you
                    marry him? Oh wait, that’s right, you
                    hate gays. Tell me, do you think black
                    shouldn’t get married either?

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                    Well, uh, see…

          Jehovah’s Witness hears Camera laughing, looks
          around, sees the camera through the screen.

                              JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
                    Are you recording this? Are you
                    mocking…

          Jehovah’s Witness turns around and walks away in a
          tiff, the rest we can’t hear but he’s still
          mumbling. Camera runs to door to capture a clear
          image of Jehovah’s Witness storming off.

          Camera looks at Guy and both laugh on camera.

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