I say that you need air to survive but dreams to live. Unfortunately, it’s hard to keep dreams alive during hectic days, but they can help you get through the more tiresome ones. So, take some time to figure out some dreams. Something that brings a smile to your face when you think about it.
For me, it’s my voice-activated place I was talking about in my last post. The appeal to me in that one isn’t just the orgasmic immersion in technology, but also the idea of having designed or created it. I like building things, or creating things. I like creating something that is of value to another. That’s the main reason I don’t think I could succeed in a strictly business environment. Or, rather, I don’t want to succeed in a business environment. I might get successful and stick around feeling hollow or otherwise deprived. Who knows.
I sometimes think about my weirdness. I’ve pretty much always been a bit of an oddity. I think I liked the attention. So, I sometimes think, what if I was completely normal. What then? I sometimes think I wouldn’t know how to be completely normal. I sometimes think that scares me and that’s why I’m always a little off. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it and all this time by myself isn’t doing me any good and that I need to get something to do, rather than read and think all day.
I need to find some physical building projects. I haven’t done anything with my hands in a bit (except type and the other thing–organizing). Haven’t touched an electric tool since my accident, anyhoo. So, that’s about 9 months.
I also miss trials. A lot. I miss it.